[Poem] Ballad Of The Crestfallen Beatnik, 04.26.04
Ballad Of The Crestfallen Beatnik
I’m styling my memories with a jagged toothed comb
And translating streams of thought into watertight poems
These apocalyptic verses sound more bullshit than biblical
When I get straight to the point it always turns out elliptical
I rarely go out but when I do I’m anti-social
Passing judgment on the public that’s basically superficial
I just scribble in notebooks I fill with dirty limericks
And study the novels of heroes I try to mimic
While observing pedestrians with idle fascination
A smile from the waitress is no cause for celebration
How vital is the business people have to attend to?
When you’re always too stressed to let a stranger befriend you
An `X’ on the calendar marks each day of frustration
Since I last got laid I’ve relied on masturbation
I feel like a false priest whose been celibate my default
With my sex life a past life, I should start up a cult
Brainwash a harem of wives by preaching polygamy
What better way to rescue this bachelor from misery
They say if you stop looking, love is certain to find you
But they never describe the hopelessness you’ll go through
I wish I had the confidence to seduce like a player
Whenever attempting flirtation I’m my own worst naysayer
So instead I’m the brooding poet with the sensitive soul
Who practices the lost art of emotional self-control
I guess I’m long overdue for an attitude readjustment
I don’t need a shrink to explain my lack of personal development
I’ve got issues of intimacy and I’m all out of solutions
I’m libel to commit myself to some mental institution
I’m just a ordinary guy whose been desperate for nookie
Following stale crumbs of everybody else’s broken cookie
I’m a bundle of nerves when I take off my glasses
Cradling my forehead until the sensation passes
There’s worse states of condition I could mix myself up in
Being an artistic recluse, I guess, is better than nothin’
But all along, on this unholy quest for spiritual remedy
I’ve felt the secret to happiness in close proximity
